Rule of Law, Zimbabwe Edition

When a University of Zimbabwe graduation ceremony had to be delayed 45 minutes because Bobby Mugabe’s hat did not fit, people you KNOW someone is getting fired (if the hat don’t fit you must get fired).

That someone turns out to be “Ngaatendwe Takawira, an assistant registrar, who said she has been in charge of the university’s graduation ceremonies since 1996”

Why was Mugabe wearing a mortarboad at the ceremony? Silly Question. He’s the Chancellor of all of Zim’s state universities, innit he?

The twisty thing here is that Ms. Takawira is not taking her punishment passively.

She claims that (a) they had a hat there that fit Bobby the whole time, (2) The Chancellors office gave her the hat size she bought, and (3) Bobby M called off a fitting saying he was too busy. She’s filing suit with a lawyer and everything.

My question to you people is this: DOESN’T SHE KNOW WHERE SHE IS LIVING?

There are few places on earth where “L’etat c’est moi” rings truer than Mugabeville.

If she keeps pushing this, she may find that she ends up a lot more than just fired.

What, no Dogecoin?

Lots of currency shenanigans and heated rhetoric this week, but nothing stranger than this news from Zimbabwe that, “it has added the currencies of China, India, Japan and Australia as legal tender, alongside the United States dollar, South African Rand, Botswana Pula, British Pound and the Euro.”

Note that they are not saying they are pegging their currency to a basket of these currencies and widening the basket. No, they are saying all of these currencies individually are legal tender in Zimbabwe now.

If anybody ever actually still did any business in Zimbabwe, this would be a big problem.

 
 

Welcome to Mugabeland

Zimbabwe is daydreaming about a Disneyland-Africa at Victoria Falls. It actually seems reasonable when you consider that the UN made Zimbabwe the host country for their World Tourism Organization general assembly. Why wouldn’t the Mouse want a piece?

Apparently one of Mugabeland’s major attractions will be a log-ride that washes your money!

Here’s the pithy essence from the BBC:

“We think it should be modelled along the size and the kind of vision that is on Disneyland, including hotels, entertainment parks, restaurants, conferencing facilities. This is the vision and we need people who can run with it.”

Mr Mzembi earlier told Zimbabwe’s official news agency New Ziana that the government wanted to create a free zone with a banking centre “where even people who do not necessarily live in Zimbabwe can open bank accounts” .

He announced the plans at the UN World Tourism Organisation general assembly, which Zimbabwe is co-hosting with Zambia.

C’mon people, sing along with me, “It’s a shitty world after all, it’s a shitty world after all, it’s a shitty, shitty world”

 

 

What could possibly go wrong?

Wow. Bobby Mugabe just opened his latest campaign for president. He’s 89, he’s lost at least the last two elections, but he’s still president, he’s still running hard, and he still is a very snappy dresser:

 

And, he and his surrealistic party ZANU-PF, have an amazing plan to fix Zimbabwe:

In the 108 pages of Zanu-PF’s election manifesto, the word “indigenisation” appears at least 156 times.

The party is not coy about this, declaring: “Only the indigenisation and people’s empowerment reform programme can meet the goals of the people. There is no other alternative.”

Under its plan, 1138 companies across 12 different sectors would be targeted over the next five years. The party believes the takeovers would realise $7.3billion in assets for the government.

The value of these assets would then be used as security against borrowings, which, Zanu-PF believes, would ultimately create total value of $29.2billion. The money would be used to rebuild the country’s infrastructure, support agriculture, and fund education and health.

 

People, after a government nationalizes 1138 companies, how many foreign lenders will be knocking on the door offering to loan them money?