In Chicago, the dead vote. In Zimbabwe, the dead (will) govern

President Robert Mugabe, 92 years old, frequently leaves his country for health care in Singapore and Dubai.  Given his advanced age, each leave elicits questions/hopes that maybe this is finally it.  Maybe he won’t be coming back to wreck further havoc on his country.

Mugabe crushed many hopes by reappearing Saturday after a prolonged absence.  And what did he have to say? Here’s the transcript:

“It is true that I was dead,” the world’s oldest head of state said. “And I resurrected. As I always do.”

“Are we speaking to a ghost?” someone asked him.

“Once I get back to my country, I am real,” Mugabe said.

Zimbabweans shouldn’t worry so much about his health though because Mrs. Mugabe told citizens that her husband “would rule from the grave.”  How reassuring! That’s gives new meaning to the phrase “president for life.”